It's been in my mind, for quite a while, that sometimes we take for granted our loved ones.
I didn't have a good example of what a happy marriage should be growing up. But when I met Derek, I knew I wanted to be perfect, because to me, he was. Well, obviously after 9 years of marriage, I realize he's not perfect, but he's perfect for me. And I want to be that for him too.
I constantly have these thoughts -My husband has everything to make him happy. A loving wife, a beautiful and smart child, and a great job that he enjoys going to. He deserves every happiness because he's a great husband, father, and he works hard. But, do I deserve him?
I'm a stay at home mom. I have meals ready for my husband at lunch and dinner and sometimes, when my husband gets home, it's spotless. But there are times when he gets home that, well, it's obvious that I was lazy. Dishes on the counter, toys on the floor, dogs jumping on him because they need a walk.
One day, Derek said, if I was a stay at home dad this house would be spotless. And it kind of hit me. He's so right. If I was out working and came home to a mess, I'd be disappointed. He doesn't deserve that at all! I need to step up my game! It snapped me out of it. I still have my lazy days, but I do my best to not let my mood burden my husband.
I WANT to be a perfect wife. I'm not. I'll never be. But I'm still working on it everyday. And I want to be appreciated for it. And by trying, I'm showing my husband I appreciate him. Maybe I do deserve him...
... do you deserve the person you love?
We ALL deserve love, but do we strive to be everything to that person. To make sure they aren't burdened with our choices or habits. I know so many people whose other half has no desire to be their everything. Quit smoking for that person. Eat healthier for that person. Stop spending so much money. Sacrifice material things so you can have a secure future. Stop being so lazy. Give them more back rubs. Give them more smooches. Don't be angry. Don't be controlling. Be apologetic and sincere. Curb your temper. Surprise them with little things. Let them live a dream. Let them explore and learn and grow. Stop sabotaging their diet. Stop being stubborn. Stop being 'right' all the time. Stop cheating on them. Give them support! Hey, they might not deserve you but if you love them... Set the example and don't be spiteful.
And by that I mean, if your spouse forgets an anniversary gift don't purposely not do something special for him/her on their birthday to prove a point that it hurts... in fact, do something EXTRA special for your loved one, to show how good it feels to be remembered and loved and teach them how to treat you. If you love back rubs, then be more touchy feely with your husband and he will learn to reciprocate. Don't hold out because you want to throw a fit and be spiteful... The more attention I give to my husband, the more he gives to me.
Oh, and I realize it's easier said then done. So many of these things are hard to control. Some things are so ingrained in you deep down you wonder if it's possible to change. Sometimes, I think it's rude for people to say, you need to change... but I have to say, do it if you need to. Don't be so full of yourself because you think you shouldn't have to change. If what you do is burdening your loved one... why not try?
